I don’t know how many of you love the digital age, but most of the time I am very thankful for the convenience.  This afternoon, however; I spent about 4 hours sorting through and cleaning up all the pictures we have taken with our digital camera since my son Ryder was born.  Um yeah…Ryder was born almost two years ago.  So I went through and cleaned up 1900+ photos.  It was rather time intensive to say the least, but at the same time very enjoyable.  Watching our son grow from newborn to toddlerhood encouraged me to reflect on the love I feel for my family.  The reason I was sorting through these photos was to make room for the baby daughter we will be having in three months.

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At one point, an overwhelming amount of fear and self doubt overcame me.  Could I love my daughter as much as I love my husband and son?  Did I have enough space in my heart to love another human being this much?  And why had I conjured up in my head that there wasn’t enough room left in my heart to love another so much?

For those of us that practice yoga, we all know that we alone are fully responsible for finding and becoming more aware of this space.  Most of us start a physical practice to find more openness in our bodies.  Then, as we start to open up more in our bodies, many of us start to draw our attention inward.  We start to realize that just as the body is organic and can change through our will, so can our hearts and minds.  We start to peel off our protective armor we have created for ourselves through the practice of meditation, compassion, forgiveness and love to name a few.  And with practice, we start to give our hearts more freedom to fully love.

It is the natural human condition to want to both give and receive love.  Sometimes, we allow our minds to get in the way of our hearts.  Through past experiences and memories, future stressors and worries, we convince ourselves it is not okay to just BE and FEEL sometimes.  And that is what I think children teach us.  It is what I think yoga teaches us.  It is such a basic lesson, yet it requires constant reminding and practice.

So where did this fear about not loving my daughter originate from?  I don’t know, but I guarantee it had nothing to do with the present moment.  Just as we continue to have new family members and relationships as we age, our ability to love more people grows with us.  Love is expansive, endless, and forever growing within each of us…if we allow it to.

I encourage you to give yourself permission not to always lead with your head.  We were given a heart and soul for a reason.  Trust it and give it a little more freedom.

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